4.24.2005
somebody told me...
...that they had once wondered if their life lacked emotion simply because they had experienced everything. acts that had once brought joy had been dulled through repetition. "it's like when you see kids jumping in the water and laughing. you can see their happiness. you can SEE it. but when i get in the water, it's not like that anymore." i guess sometimes you just have to be thrown in.
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I've thought about that view on life before as well. I can think back to those summers in elementary school where the largest worry was if you could actually DO a flip and a half off the diving board. Those were the days when we lived life without the knowledge or capability to do otherwise. Happiness was undiluted. I was taking pictures at the multicultural festival and I saw that they were selling a mood ring for children. At first I was messed that a child would a) not know how it was feeling or b) have to be anything other than "happy." Either that, or the idea of a mood ring is to be a teaching tool to learn emotional intelligence which allows you to feel on deeper levels--and then only in those deeper levels of emotion can we find further extremes. The fact that we can look back so fondly on childhood, understanding where we were at that moment when things were new, is a sign of how far we may have come. We have now a level of appreciation for the good that comes with us. A five year old that loses their grandparent never knew them well enough or their presence is simply gone. When grandparents die at our age we see and appreciate so much more than we ever could have at our age. Happy changes. It is much more than the smiles and laughter it once was. Those still exist, but moreso it is a collection of smiles and laughter over time that collects and helps to paint the picture of our lives. -dave
who knew that the water would be this AMAZING? could be this wonderful? had the wherewithal to finally 'wake you up' from this seemingly interminable malaise. it seems as though all it took was to be pushed in by the right person. can't wait to see what the water's like tomorrow
-somebody
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